|
Quote: 100; Rating: 6; [+|-]
|
|
<+aeonite> all I know is I put on the pedometer and I went down to the playground and walked around for like 2 hours and it registered like 20,000 when there were only like 20 kids there, tops |
|
Quote: 99; Rating: 0; [+|-]
|
<+aeonite> "I was praying so hard for God to please give us a happy ending; and He did!! "
<Octalthorpe> God: A lot like Asian massage therapists. |
|
Quote: 98; Rating: -1; [+|-]
|
<@AntiNorm> first person to pm me a new topic gets it set
* AntiNorm changes topic to '<GaidinBDJ> a new topic' |
|
Quote: 97; Rating: 8; [+|-]
|
* +Rabbitoh pokes and feels his index finger sink into kc's leg
<+kc8501> oooooh Rabbitoh!
<+Rabbitoh> :D
<+kc8501> HEY that's not my leg!
<+Rabbitoh> that's not my finger |
|
Quote: 96; Rating: 3; [+|-]
|
<+UncHellMatt> Eh, my girlfriend had the same reaction, kapowaz.
<+UncHellMatt> Thing is?
<+UncHellMatt> I just patted her on the back...
<+UncHellMatt> ...and told her to GET MY FUCKING MONEY!!
<+UncHellMatt> And she would SO fucking kill me if she read that... |
|
Quote: 95; Rating: 5; [+|-]
|
<weewoo> hello tony2nice, sorry about that wasnt really paying attention
<tony2nice> Oh no prob dude.
<weewoo> dudette*
<weewoo> ;p
<tony2nice> dudette
<tony2nice> My "dudes" are not gender specific weewoo.
<tony2nice> That sounded very...odd... |
|
Quote: 94; Rating: 9; [+|-]
|
* GaidinBDJ raises his hand
* @HPZ puts GaidinBDJ's hand down
<+suebwork> down where? |
|
Quote: 93; Rating: -5; [+|-]
|
<THX1138> and farkers prefer choosy moms
<Puchu> no we don't
<Puchu> we prefer loose moms
<noeljb> yes I do
<noeljb> same thing as long as they don't have STDs
<Terron> or KIDs |
|
Quote: 92; Rating: 0; [+|-]
|
<McBatt> I loved that cailis commercial durring the super bowl, too. Anyone see that? :D
<McBatt> Here's a brief summary: Is your dick not working right? Use Cialis so you'll be ready to fuck anytime within 36 hours after you take it. Side effects may include erections that last FOREVER!!!
<Tarvuz> that would not be good
<McBatt> well, duh
<heap> better then the side effects of olestra
<heap> i'd rather have permawood then anal leakage
<Tarvuz> with permawood you could cause anal leakage in others
<McBatt> hahahahaha |
|
Quote: 91; Rating: 3; [+|-]
|
<Mcbatt> Heres a little proof that the internet is destroying my generation: I was in the shower today, and, since I shave in the shower, grabbed the can of shaving gel from the little rack under the showerhead. I picked it up wrong, and accidently pressed the button while rearanging my hand, with the nozzle facing up.
<Mcbatt> So, a jet of blue shaving cream shoots up into the air, and my first thought is 'OMG, TUBGIRL". |
|
Quote: 90; Rating: 10; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> i took my piss test today
<tuckt26> Was it tough?
<goatasaur> my strategy was taking so much drugs that my urine breaks the machine |
|
Quote: 89; Rating: 0; [+|-]
|
<Allahkat> I would like to do a comparison between fraknet's #fark and #frak.
<Allahkat> #Frak: <ocean2> a^2 + b^2 = c^2
<Allahkat> <ocean2> where c is the longest side of a triangle
<Allahkat> #Fark: <Allahkat> Well, if you have a small weener, you can put it in my bum.
<Allahkat> <Wintermute> front bum?
<Allahkat> <Allahkat> Both bums.
<ocean2> haha
<Allahkat> Does anyone see a slight difference?
<ocean2> i'm not sure
<Allahkat> HAHA |
|
Quote: 88; Rating: 10; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> she is attractive
<goatasaur> but she has more issues than tv guide |
|
Quote: 87; Rating: 13; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> that reminds me of the health spa that was giving a deal on "champagne facials"
<goatasaur> and i thought, "if that isn't the name of a porn site, it should be" |
|
Quote: 86; Rating: 6; [+|-]
|
*** Signoff: disp (Killed (NickServ (Ghost: disposal!disp@syru229-149.syr.edu)))
*** disp (disp@syru229-149.syr.edu) has joined channel #fark
<disp> i am fucking stupid
<disp> from my experience
<goatasaur> took you long enough
<disp> it was on auto reconnect
<disp> i did it manually
<disp> while it was reconnecting
<disp> and then i sat on the server
<disp> thinking i was in the channel
<goatasaur> no, i mean it took you long enough to figure out you're fucking stupid |
|
Quote: 85; Rating: -2; [+|-]
|
<Ashe3> marry me goatse
<Bad_CRC> the goatse dude had a wedding ring |
|
Quote: 84; Rating: 9; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> if you ate nothing but corn for like two days, and then took a shit, and took a picture of it, you could be an internet celebrity
<goatasaur> such is the power of the internet |
|
Quote: 83; Rating: -6; [+|-]
|
|
<jessie> I'm going to put on my skimpiest maternity outfit and go bar hopping. |
|
Quote: 82; Rating: -7; [+|-]
|
<drdank> Wil's not gay!
<goatasaur> yeah
<goatasaur> he drew tits on my back before he fucked me in the ass |
|
Quote: 81; Rating: 9; [+|-]
|
<forkids> fully erect, i'm 32 inches
<goatasaur> forkids: you forgot the decimal |
|
Quote: 80; Rating: 0; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> <Calisa> It's hard to prove that rape is rape sometimes.
<goatasaur> thank god for that |
|
Quote: 79; Rating: -6; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> what's a good party song to learn
<goatasaur> on acoustic guitar
<JinxedLynx> Sisko - thong
<TribGuru> "she's having my baby" - paul anka
<JinxedLynx> Lords of Acid - You Belong to Me
<TribGuru> "kum ba ya" - jesus and mary chain
<HPZ|HW> "Get that fucking thing out of my ass." - elitotaco's kid brother
<JinxedLynx> Sir Mixalot - Baby Got Back
<Psychlone> Genocide - Judas Priest
<TribGuru> "I Touch Myself" - Divinyls (sp unnecessary)
<goatasaur> ...
<goatasaur> i guess it's my fault for asking a question about parties on irc |
|
Quote: 78; Rating: 12; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> it's frustrating
<goatasaur> like having sex with a ziploc bag
<goatasaur> i can wear her labia like earmuffs |
|
Quote: 77; Rating: 12; [+|-]
|
<phoxxy> i was on the phone with a company for my business that was in Tennesee. the guy was trying to tell me information over the phone. i aksed if they had a website and he goes "Well, I didn't offer to give you our website information because I didn't think you had internet in Indiana."
* phoxxy was like WTF!?
* phoxxy has a T1 in her home mother fucker
<Puchu> indiana has no internet
<GorgeousOrifice> Indiana's all backwards and shit
<phoxxy> when I told the guy I had a T1 at home, he goes "Is that like dial-up?" |
|
Quote: 76; Rating: 2; [+|-]
|
<ComicBookGuy> goatse goatse goatse goatse goatse
<forkhead1> what is goatse? like a goat?
<elitotaco> yeah
<elitotaco> its pretty cool
<JinxedLynx> >((@))< goatse kitty
<elitotaco> its one of those three legged goats
<elitotaco> lemme get a link for you
<elitotaco> http://www.hektik.org/various/goatse/images/goatse_03.jpg
<forkhead1> you freak !!!
<elitotaco> oh yeah
<elitotaco> nsfw
<forkhead1> nsfw or human eyes!!!
<forkhead1> freaked my dad out too! |
|
Quote: 75; Rating: 1; [+|-]
|
<Bubbaprog> who wants to make out with me
<aeonite> i will if you join my army
<Bubbaprog> well consider me your first sergeant |
|
Quote: 74; Rating: 5; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> BLARGH
<goatasaur> i hate it when i think i've met someone interesting online, and then they go "asl?"
<goatasaur> and it's like... meeting a beautiful woman, then she puts her cock in your drink |
|
Quote: 73; Rating: -3; [+|-]
|
<ZekeMacNeil> lol
<ZekeMacNeil> my dad just IMd me for the first time
<TribGuru> Zeke: "a/s/l son?" |
|
Quote: 72; Rating: -2; [+|-]
|
*** BabyJesus (~BabyJesus@w126.z066088223.sjc-ca.dsl.cnc.net) has joined channel #fark
* J-Lynx aborts BabyJesus
*** BabyJesus has left #fark |
|
Quote: 71; Rating: 0; [+|-]
|
|
<ZekeMacNeil> LIFE, LOVE, LAUGHTER...they're all infectious...and so is Chlamydia. |
|
Quote: 70; Rating: 12; [+|-]
|
<Gwendolyn> my mom was always the boss growning up.
<jeff> dyketown usa
<goatasaur> major export: liquor? |
|
Quote: 69; Rating: 8; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> i've been practicing Hiroshima lately
<CBG> hmm??
<goatasaur> CBG: the japanese art of body arrangment |
|
Quote: 68; Rating: 0; [+|-]
|
* Now talking in #fark
* Topic is '<Bubbaprog> i just found a much better use for these jello pudding pops than eating them'
* Allahkat (Allahkat@HSE-London-ppp207448.sympatico.ca) has joined #fark
<Allahkat> I don't even want to know what context the topic was taken out of.
* Allahkat (Allahkat@HSE-London-ppp207448.sympatico.ca) Quit (Quit: <Wintermute> at least you didn't almost puke on a clown) |
|
Quote: 67; Rating: -2; [+|-]
|
<elitotaco> a 3 legged dog walks into an old western saloon, walks up to the bar tender and says "I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"
<Kennef> that joke just made my daughter cry, elitotaco |
|
Quote: 66; Rating: 2; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> heh, at work today
<goatasaur> i was playing around with outlook's calendar/organizer thing
<goatasaur> and i noticed that you can go, like, hundreds of years into the future
<goatasaur> so on march 1st, 3004, i put "1000th anniversary at cornerstone - a pot luck lunch will be organized in my honor |
|
Quote: 65; Rating: 11; [+|-]
|
<Bubbaprog> 9/11 shall be referred to in roman
<Bubbaprog> IX|XI
<Bubbaprog> thank you.
<Bubbaprog> it looks like a drunk robot. |
|
Quote: 64; Rating: -5; [+|-]
|
* Quits: +sueb[work (~kissmyass@pool-141-158-33-226.phil.east.verizon.net) (fate.fdfnet.net bethere.fdfnet.net)
* Quits: @HPZ (~HPZ@146.113.26.42) (fate.fdfnet.net bethere.fdfnet.net)
* Quits: AliceInWondrlnd (~Alice@c-24-12-53-4.client.comcast.net) (fate.fdfnet.net bethere.fdfnet.net)
* Quits: uownedge (~edge@c-24-2-126-159.client.comcast.net) (fate.fdfnet.net bethere.fdfnet.net)
* Quits: sacarino`away (~sacarino@user-0c6svn2.cable.mindspring.com) (fate.fdfnet.net bethere.fdfnet.net)
* Quits: @bort13 (~bort@router.robchauncey.org) (fate.fdfnet.net bethere.fdfnet.net)
* Quits: hmmhesays (negative3k@66.173.103.108) (fate.fdfnet.net bethere.fdfnet.net)
* Quits: AntiFlag (mitchell@fl1-24.217.223.84.charter-stl.com) (fate.fdfnet.net bethere.fdfnet.net)
* Quits: +bodkinz (TLC4u@pass-my-shotgun.co.uk) (fate.fdfnet.net bethere.fdfnet.net)
<@Kitsune> put, the candle, back |
|
Quote: 63; Rating: 13; [+|-]
|
<phoxxy> btw. I see more people driving SUVs with Kerry/Edwards stickers than anything else.
<phoxxy> but what makes it amusing is that about half those also have a bumper sticker that says "No BLood for Oil"
<asshat> lol. fools. blood doesnt burn very well, you could never use it in a modern day internal combustion vehicle |
|
Quote: 62; Rating: 2; [+|-]
|
<GaidinBDJ> My sphincter give out nothing.
<GaidinBDJ> Err...should have said my sphincter accepts nothing. |
|
Quote: 61; Rating: 15; [+|-]
|
<+Gwendolyn> !ping
<+Smitten> !pang
<+GaidinBDJ> !pong?
<+Smitten> !pung
<+GaidinBDJ> !peng
<+GaidinBDJ> Sometimes !pyng |
|
Quote: 60; Rating: 12; [+|-]
|
<firewalker> you cant buy liquor here or anywhere in Tx. on sunday
<kc8501> ahhh yes. texas. well that explains it!
<jqfarker> buy extra on saturday |
|
Quote: 59; Rating: 18; [+|-]
|
<+Rabbitoh> damn, lebanese soap operas are quite addictive when you've had a few to drink
<+suebwork> uhm I don't think you're supposed to drink them Rabbitoh |
|
Quote: 58; Rating: 5; [+|-]
|
* Jeff never saw The Passion of Christ
<Gwendolyn> Neither did I, and have no plans to
<GaidinBDJ> I read the book instead
<Gwendolyn> I read the book, and found it conflicting and a dry read ;)
<Gwendolyn> and the book is always better than the movie
<Gwendolyn> so I'll pass |
|
Quote: 57; Rating: 10; [+|-]
|
<+aeonite> Doom 3 is too dark
<Jeff> Adds to the atmosphere
<Jeff> It's part of the story, anyway. The power is out everywhere. All you got is a flashlight
<+aeonite> it's lazy
<+aeonite> they were like "oh shit these levels look like crapass" "we'll just make every level pitch black then"
<Jeff> Yeah, I'm sure the people at ID were like "Ehhh, we get tired of making good graphics. Let's just make it dark" |
|
Quote: 56; Rating: -1; [+|-]
|
|
<itchy> at least the links I've posted only show stuff coming OUT of peoples butts. |
|
Quote: 55; Rating: -1; [+|-]
|
<Jeff> Ok, I should watch this movie I downloaded
<Jeff> Filipino Butt Blasters, Volume #6.
≡ Trunz/#fark blinks
<Igloo> Jeff: An epic story of courage, I'm sure. Filled with plot twists galore.
<Trunz> haha
<Jeff> I can DCC it to you, if you'd like,
<MorphineKisses> a cumming of age story
<MorphineKisses> is it as good as fillipino furburger?
<Jeff> Please. It has everything FF has in spades.
<MorphineKisses> even the bowling balls?
<Jeff> This is the film the director of Filipino Furburger WANTED to make.
<Jeff> The bowling balls yes, and the never-before-seen boa constrictor scene.
<MorphineKisses> heheh
<Jeff> It's totally raw. |
|
Quote: 54; Rating: -2; [+|-]
|
<+Gwendolyn> Why the hell are overwieght people so self conscious
<+aeonite> there's more to be conscious of? |
|
Quote: 53; Rating: 8; [+|-]
|
<hmmhesays> Do you whip out your piece and smack em in the forehead with it GaidinBDJ?
<GaidinBDJ> Nope, I don't carry here
<hmmhesays> who said I was talking about a gun |
|
Quote: 52; Rating: 15; [+|-]
|
<GaidinBDJ> I finally got around to doing that guy
<GaidinBDJ> 's prox card
<GaidinBDJ> ack!
<+buttercup> topic!
* bort13 changes topic to '<GaidinBDJ> I finally got around to doing that guy'
<GaidinBDJ> Bastard
<GaidinBDJ> Stupid laptop keyboards
|
|
Quote: 51; Rating: 4; [+|-]
|
<@spartacus> spankings are no good unless you've mutually decided on a "safe" word first
<+deFacto> the safe word is banana
<@langster> no, the safe word is "don't you even fucking think about it" |
| Total Quotes: 100; Pending Quotes 17. |
Rows: 102; Queries: 55; Top. |
|
|