|
Quote: 6; Rating: 3; [+|-]
|
<Devilbunny> basically just tell her that people online don't believe that you're anywhere near a cute girl, and they're asking for pictures to prove it. Then let her see what you're typing - better clear the buffer - and let her type a response. Tell her to type "I really am a hot girl."
<Devilbunny> or something
<Cliff_> Devilbunny, I really am a hot girl
<GaidinBDJ> !topic
<GaidinBDJ> Actually what would really prove is is have her type "I love anal sex from burly men" |
|
Quote: 86; Rating: 6; [+|-]
|
*** Signoff: disp (Killed (NickServ (Ghost: disposal!disp@syru229-149.syr.edu)))
*** disp (disp@syru229-149.syr.edu) has joined channel #fark
<disp> i am fucking stupid
<disp> from my experience
<goatasaur> took you long enough
<disp> it was on auto reconnect
<disp> i did it manually
<disp> while it was reconnecting
<disp> and then i sat on the server
<disp> thinking i was in the channel
<goatasaur> no, i mean it took you long enough to figure out you're fucking stupid |
|
Quote: 78; Rating: 12; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> it's frustrating
<goatasaur> like having sex with a ziploc bag
<goatasaur> i can wear her labia like earmuffs |
|
Quote: 91; Rating: 3; [+|-]
|
<Mcbatt> Heres a little proof that the internet is destroying my generation: I was in the shower today, and, since I shave in the shower, grabbed the can of shaving gel from the little rack under the showerhead. I picked it up wrong, and accidently pressed the button while rearanging my hand, with the nozzle facing up.
<Mcbatt> So, a jet of blue shaving cream shoots up into the air, and my first thought is 'OMG, TUBGIRL". |
|
Quote: 76; Rating: 2; [+|-]
|
<ComicBookGuy> goatse goatse goatse goatse goatse
<forkhead1> what is goatse? like a goat?
<elitotaco> yeah
<elitotaco> its pretty cool
<JinxedLynx> >((@))< goatse kitty
<elitotaco> its one of those three legged goats
<elitotaco> lemme get a link for you
<elitotaco> http://www.hektik.org/various/goatse/images/goatse_03.jpg
<forkhead1> you freak !!!
<elitotaco> oh yeah
<elitotaco> nsfw
<forkhead1> nsfw or human eyes!!!
<forkhead1> freaked my dad out too! |
|
Quote: 39; Rating: 6; [+|-]
|
<ZekeMacNeil> i just ashed my cigarette into my milf
<ZekeMacNeil> erm
<ZekeMacNeil> milk |
|
Quote: 34; Rating: 3; [+|-]
|
* jim_duggan yawns
* @Kitsune guides a fly into jim_duggan's mouth
<jim_duggan> yum
<+sueb> tsetse fly?
<jim_duggan> spanish fly?
<+TribGuru> too many flies for a white guy.
<jim_duggan> pretty fly for a white guy
<+TribGuru> and the joke has landed. |
|
Quote: 41; Rating: 1; [+|-]
|
|
* ZekeMacPlowed is now known as ZekeMacHungOver |
|
Quote: 5; Rating: 3; [+|-]
|
<Deltantor> You seriously cant beat a rock with voyager, the doctor, someone who looks like chakotay or tom paris, janeway, and tuvok
<+GaidinBDJ> Deltantor: Yes, I could. I could have a Seven of Nine RealDoll
<Deltantor> GaidinBDJ, you win.
<+Pornosaur> sexual vinyl beats rock, rock, paper, scissors goes 4 way |
|
Quote: 42; Rating: 16; [+|-]
|
[11:21:48] * Joins: Calisa (Calisa@dhcp9539202.columbus.rr.com)
[11:21:59] <+Calisa> Actually nevermind.
[11:22:00] * Quits: +Calisa (Calisa@dhcp9539202.columbus.rr.com) (Client Quit) |
|
Quote: 13; Rating: 11; [+|-]
|
<sueb> we'll most likely go gambling afterwards
<sueb> but please join us
<@Miz> SINNERS! ;)
<+GaidinBDJ> You can only prove we're sinning if you can prove there's a God.
<@Miz> I'm godf
<@Miz> god even
<@Miz> God has had a long day and makes typos :P
<+GaidinBDJ> Your typo belies your claim. |
|
Quote: 93; Rating: -5; [+|-]
|
<THX1138> and farkers prefer choosy moms
<Puchu> no we don't
<Puchu> we prefer loose moms
<noeljb> yes I do
<noeljb> same thing as long as they don't have STDs
<Terron> or KIDs |
|
Quote: 46; Rating: 5; [+|-]
|
|
* Topic for #fark is: #FARK: the Gettysburg in the Genetics/Environment War |
|
Quote: 75; Rating: 1; [+|-]
|
<Bubbaprog> who wants to make out with me
<aeonite> i will if you join my army
<Bubbaprog> well consider me your first sergeant |
|
Quote: 80; Rating: 0; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> <Calisa> It's hard to prove that rape is rape sometimes.
<goatasaur> thank god for that |
|
Quote: 4; Rating: 4; [+|-]
|
|
<GaidinBDJ> The marvels of modern America. You can see sombody getting fucked up, but not fucked. |
|
Quote: 96; Rating: 3; [+|-]
|
<+UncHellMatt> Eh, my girlfriend had the same reaction, kapowaz.
<+UncHellMatt> Thing is?
<+UncHellMatt> I just patted her on the back...
<+UncHellMatt> ...and told her to GET MY FUCKING MONEY!!
<+UncHellMatt> And she would SO fucking kill me if she read that... |
|
Quote: 58; Rating: 5; [+|-]
|
* Jeff never saw The Passion of Christ
<Gwendolyn> Neither did I, and have no plans to
<GaidinBDJ> I read the book instead
<Gwendolyn> I read the book, and found it conflicting and a dry read ;)
<Gwendolyn> and the book is always better than the movie
<Gwendolyn> so I'll pass |
|
Quote: 31; Rating: 3; [+|-]
|
<Dripdry> yeah, have a nice dream
<Dripdry> about Finaland
<Dripdry> *Finland!
* OnO hugs wepsi anyway
* OnO listens to Fin music
<Dripdry> The Jaws theme?? |
|
Quote: 51; Rating: 4; [+|-]
|
<@spartacus> spankings are no good unless you've mutually decided on a "safe" word first
<+deFacto> the safe word is banana
<@langster> no, the safe word is "don't you even fucking think about it" |
|
Quote: 88; Rating: 10; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> she is attractive
<goatasaur> but she has more issues than tv guide |
|
Quote: 52; Rating: 15; [+|-]
|
<GaidinBDJ> I finally got around to doing that guy
<GaidinBDJ> 's prox card
<GaidinBDJ> ack!
<+buttercup> topic!
* bort13 changes topic to '<GaidinBDJ> I finally got around to doing that guy'
<GaidinBDJ> Bastard
<GaidinBDJ> Stupid laptop keyboards
|
|
Quote: 55; Rating: -1; [+|-]
|
<Jeff> Ok, I should watch this movie I downloaded
<Jeff> Filipino Butt Blasters, Volume #6.
≡ Trunz/#fark blinks
<Igloo> Jeff: An epic story of courage, I'm sure. Filled with plot twists galore.
<Trunz> haha
<Jeff> I can DCC it to you, if you'd like,
<MorphineKisses> a cumming of age story
<MorphineKisses> is it as good as fillipino furburger?
<Jeff> Please. It has everything FF has in spades.
<MorphineKisses> even the bowling balls?
<Jeff> This is the film the director of Filipino Furburger WANTED to make.
<Jeff> The bowling balls yes, and the never-before-seen boa constrictor scene.
<MorphineKisses> heheh
<Jeff> It's totally raw. |
|
Quote: 43; Rating: 9; [+|-]
|
<Baron-Harkonnen> A squash up the ass is generally NSFW
<+TribGuru> a kabocha, on the other hand, is sfw depending on how far it's inserted and if it's in japan.
<nuttinonmutton> well, ya learn something new every day. ;P |
|
Quote: 74; Rating: 5; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> BLARGH
<goatasaur> i hate it when i think i've met someone interesting online, and then they go "asl?"
<goatasaur> and it's like... meeting a beautiful woman, then she puts her cock in your drink |
|
Quote: 100; Rating: 6; [+|-]
|
|
<+aeonite> all I know is I put on the pedometer and I went down to the playground and walked around for like 2 hours and it registered like 20,000 when there were only like 20 kids there, tops |
|
Quote: 50; Rating: -3; [+|-]
|
* +Kennef blows in a southerly direction
<+Kennef> wait.... that didnt come out right |
|
Quote: 87; Rating: 13; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> that reminds me of the health spa that was giving a deal on "champagne facials"
<goatasaur> and i thought, "if that isn't the name of a porn site, it should be" |
|
Quote: 27; Rating: 4; [+|-]
|
<+GaidinBDJ> 'k bad pun time.
<+GaidinBDJ> It's Christmastime in the Skywalker household, and Luke and Leia were talking
<+GaidinBDJ> Luke says to Leia "I'm really bummed."
<+GaidinBDJ> Leia asks "Why?"
<+GaidinBDJ> Luke says "I know what Dad is getting me for Christmas"
<+GaidinBDJ> Leia says "How do you know?"
<+GaidinBDJ> Luke says "Well, last night, I felt his presents" |
|
Quote: 38; Rating: -2; [+|-]
|
<+McBatt> Cobra were a bunch of fucking morons.
<+McBatt> never did ANYTRHING right
<+McBatt> I think they liked having their asses kicked
<+McBatt> Did you ever see the christmas episode where all of corbra shrink down and sneek into the Joes HQ, and then INTENTIONALLY set of the alarms and enlarge themselves, rather than kill all the joes in their sleep? Fucking morons.
<+McBatt> If I were running cobra, even at 6 years old, we would have been ruling the world in a matter of minutes |
|
Quote: 89; Rating: 0; [+|-]
|
<Allahkat> I would like to do a comparison between fraknet's #fark and #frak.
<Allahkat> #Frak: <ocean2> a^2 + b^2 = c^2
<Allahkat> <ocean2> where c is the longest side of a triangle
<Allahkat> #Fark: <Allahkat> Well, if you have a small weener, you can put it in my bum.
<Allahkat> <Wintermute> front bum?
<Allahkat> <Allahkat> Both bums.
<ocean2> haha
<Allahkat> Does anyone see a slight difference?
<ocean2> i'm not sure
<Allahkat> HAHA |
|
Quote: 63; Rating: 13; [+|-]
|
<phoxxy> btw. I see more people driving SUVs with Kerry/Edwards stickers than anything else.
<phoxxy> but what makes it amusing is that about half those also have a bumper sticker that says "No BLood for Oil"
<asshat> lol. fools. blood doesnt burn very well, you could never use it in a modern day internal combustion vehicle |
|
Quote: 1; Rating: 12; [+|-]
|
* BChikapa has joined #fark
* ChanServ sets mode: +o BChikapa
<BChikapa> Quick, I have a question
<magpie> 42
<BChikapa> Is it rape if you kill them first?
<RobbieFal> Chikapa, Rape isn't the biggest problem if you killed the person
<BChikapa> But IS IT?
<RobbieFal> felony-wise
<RobbieFal> well.. considering the person doesn't consent, I'd say it probably is
<BChikapa> shit.
<ChainBlue> violating a corpse is a crime all to istelf
<BChikapa> I'll be back in like fifty years.
* BChikapa has quit IRC (-) |
|
Quote: 45; Rating: 16; [+|-]
|
* Joins: hugecockforu (~farkuser@165-234-190-223.k12.nd.us)
* AntiNorm sets mode: +b *!*@*.k12.*
* hugecockforu was kicked by AntiNorm (go back to class) |
|
Quote: 30; Rating: 6; [+|-]
|
<+grivas> being 18 and being able to talk a girl into having sex in a compact car or a model home is a sexual peak
<+suebwork> grivas: that's just a smooth talker and would work at any age
<+grivas> nah, when you get older they expect you to have your own place and a nicer car
<GaidinBDJ> Yea, grivias, that's why I stick with 17 year olds.
<GaidinBDJ> They're happy as long as I can buy 'em wine coolers.
<+grivas> bartles and james were my wingmen back in the day |
|
Quote: 25; Rating: 11; [+|-]
|
<+Ashe3> driving is like dancing, in a way
<+Ashe3> except when your partner fucks up, you can scream and give them the finger |
|
Quote: 60; Rating: 12; [+|-]
|
<firewalker> you cant buy liquor here or anywhere in Tx. on sunday
<kc8501> ahhh yes. texas. well that explains it!
<jqfarker> buy extra on saturday |
|
Quote: 84; Rating: 9; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> if you ate nothing but corn for like two days, and then took a shit, and took a picture of it, you could be an internet celebrity
<goatasaur> such is the power of the internet |
|
Quote: 66; Rating: 2; [+|-]
|
<goatasaur> heh, at work today
<goatasaur> i was playing around with outlook's calendar/organizer thing
<goatasaur> and i noticed that you can go, like, hundreds of years into the future
<goatasaur> so on march 1st, 3004, i put "1000th anniversary at cornerstone - a pot luck lunch will be organized in my honor |
|
Quote: 16; Rating: -3; [+|-]
|
<Blackknight> hmm, my server is playing zelda music now
<GaidinBDJ> Maybe it just acquired an upgrade? |
|
Quote: 48; Rating: -8; [+|-]
|
<Jeff> I just walked into my bathroom, and my cat was taking a shit in the box
<Jeff> And I ACTUALLY APOLOGIZED FOR WALKING IN |
|
Quote: 22; Rating: 5; [+|-]
|
<@bort13> brokeback made $82.6, so it'll be blown away next weekend
<@sueb> I'll take a cartoon type movie over a gay sheepherder flick any day
<+GaidinBDJ> sueb: You'll definately have a broke back after I get done mountin'
<@sueb> pffft empty promises by the men of #fark
<+GaidinBDJ> No, serious sueb, I weigh like 250lbs. |
|
Quote: 21; Rating: 7; [+|-]
|
|
<Dolleater> I dont think I want to get flammed, Im just here too look at photoshop contests. |
|
Quote: 15; Rating: -5; [+|-]
|
<toastido> SO... Dr. Phil says that there is a 'cheating' gene
<GaidinBDJ> toastido: Yea, it's called "Y" |
|
Quote: 82; Rating: -7; [+|-]
|
<drdank> Wil's not gay!
<goatasaur> yeah
<goatasaur> he drew tits on my back before he fucked me in the ass |
|
Quote: 19; Rating: 2; [+|-]
|
<VietBong> 'sup fool?
<Iggins> nothinh big
<Iggins> just playing my bass
<+GaidinBDJ> How do you play a fish?
<Iggins> you just play scales |
|
Quote: 37; Rating: 1; [+|-]
|
<Rob-iwiwc> imagine if the pope got up now
<Rob-iwiwc> think that might cause an increase in catholics?
<@HPZ> Rob-iwiwc: that's a damned good idea. They should've planned it that way.
<@HPZ> What a brilliant recruitment strategy.
<sprawl_gnome> worked for Jesus |
|
Quote: 40; Rating: 15; [+|-]
|
<+Wintermute> !8ball can you recommend a good email client?
<@FarkStatsBot> Wintermute: Outlook good. |
|
Quote: 26; Rating: -8; [+|-]
|
<+GaidinBDJ> Blarg. I finally shut all the whiney people up.
<+kc8501> how'd you manage that???
<+GaidinBDJ> Closed my door. |
|
Quote: 53; Rating: 8; [+|-]
|
<hmmhesays> Do you whip out your piece and smack em in the forehead with it GaidinBDJ?
<GaidinBDJ> Nope, I don't carry here
<hmmhesays> who said I was talking about a gun |
| Total Quotes: 100; Pending Quotes 17. |
Rows: 102; Queries: 55; Top. |
|
|